I’m not even sure where to begin this one. I have so many things running through my mind at the moment I should probably go ahead and apologize for any thing I may say that doesn’t make a lick of sense, because basically im about to type out my thoughts. Which sounds simple when I first say it but if you knew the extent to which I dissect every little thing I think up I think more people would understand why im always tired; or worried. All that to say: shall we dive into the deep abyss of my thought pool?
Ready-GO!
I’ve decided I strongly dislike dating in high school. In fact, I wish I would have known my freshman year or better yet my 6th grade year, that by the time I would become a senior I would have wished them all away. Okay, so that’s a little harsh. I do have some good memories. And I have learned and matured through many of the relationships. But who knew adults and the older, wiser people were right when they said “it’s not worth the stress, just wait until after high school.” Oh how naïve we are. And what’s funny is we think we are so smart when it comes to dating, like we are the first ones to experiment with it or something. Geez.
Now let’s press pause real fast so I can leave a disclaimer: I am not here to bash any high school relationships that are still going strong or any relationships that have or will turn into life long, lovely marriages. All these views in which I will express will be coming from personal views and experiences.
Anyways, I have decided that for the remainder of my high school career (which I realize is not much to say) I am going to toss dating out the window. I’m not sure if I even would want to pursue a relationship freshman year of college. But I am not making any promises here. I feel as though in high school you’re looking for someone to just accept you and love you for who you are. But when it all boils down, they probably not loving the real you (please remember the disclaimer here). It is so easy to get caught up in the excitement of dating and everything that comes along with it, that it becomes so easy to just change everything you have promised yourself you would never change. I’m pretty sure that every single person that has ever been in a relationship has previously stated this statement: “I will never change myself at all for any guy/girl.” I can pretty much guarantee that one. But in reality, we all know that humanly speaking this is basically impossible. Especially in young relationships. When it starts your all excited because the guy you’ve had a crush on finally notices you, so all those days spent day dreaming about what it would be like if he liked you finally start to come true. So what’s the first thing you do? Well that’s a no brainer- you go and in some form of a stalking manner find out every last detail about his life (that is attainable from some other means than him telling you) and every thing he is interested in. This way you are fully prepared to always be in the state to hold a conversation and catch his interest with all of yalls “shared” interests. Now, I don’t know what mood I have just produced in starting this, but I would like to say it has become a very sarcastic one so I am, for those who can not tell, exaggerating small things for effect of what im trying to get across. Don’t leave this blog thinking im a lunatic.
So, now with all your new found knowledge about the guy that started as just a little crush occupying your day dreams, you are now faced with the lovely task of making sure you always look presentable. And we are not just talking add 5 extra minutes to your normal routine here. I’m talking the stress over what you’re going to wear for a solid 20 minutes, before even beginning to try anything on. And along with that task you always get the privilege of coming up with dumb excuses to make a trip to the bathroom every so often to make sure you don’t have your shirt on inside out, or broccoli stuck between your teeth or a friend hanging out of your nose that no one has bothered to tell you about all day. And to think we have a holiday dedicated to recognizing your significant other (which happens to be around the corner, convenient this was on my mind?). Then by the end of the day after all that stress you get the honor of looking back on that day and picking apart every single encounter you had with this said “special” person and making sure you said or did the right thing. And who knows how long this process can sometimes take. After all the beginning stages of dating occur then you get to the big climax of it all: Making it official. That’s when you go home, log into facebook, change your “relationship status” get all the lovely comments from all your friends who, by the way, all already knew it was about to happen, it’s just something about commenting on the new relationship status on facebook that makes it so much better than in person. So now that yall have become facebook official, had the pre-stress of impressing the other, and won each others heart, you come to stand still in the road. Pretty much, a spot where you go “okay, now what?” But this doesn’t last long. Then, not only do you have to maintain the personal appearance stress, but now you have to make sure that you are aware of everything you say or do to make sure it is not taken the wrong way by your new significant other or better yet; bystanders who love to meddle in other peoples relationships. This is when the real fun begins. Or I’d say more of a relationship test. It’s around the time the little arguments start or you start realizing that really, you both don’t have anything in common at all. This is also when you begin to pick up little things he or she does that get on your nerves to no end. OR what’s far worse are things that you used to think were so cute and now make you want to barf you’re so sick of them.
Also around this time you realize you’re not the only one with the stalking skills and that your once “perfect for each other” significant other has also memorized everything you love to do. So, now you realize that neither of you like the same things, little things all the way down to there breathing habits are beginning to annoy you, you’ve consumed the past(how ever long this has continued) time obsessing over them and now you get to stress over how your going to end it all. Which, I could write on for days. But for the sake of how much I have already rambled I will condense it. You now get to go through the following: do I make it my fault so it looks like im the one at fault here, when really it’s not me at all, but that way they won’t be as upset? Do you just lay it on them that yall no longer share anything in common, including the liking each other part? Or do you try scheme up ways to make them break up with you first, so you can then play the devastated role when inside your swiping your head with a sigh of relief? So many options. So many roads you could travel. When in the beginning, had you of listened to all the people who said “just wait until you’re older” you wouldn’t even be in this mess in the first place. And now you’re stuck with one broken heart, a portion of your life that you can never get back, a lot of new memories (some good and some bad), a lot of learned lessons and a WHOLE LOT of gray hairs that are waiting to greet you one lovely morning.
I hope this isn’t making me out to sound like im ditching the prospects of ever dating again. I just think that for the time being I am completely content with just focusing on God and whatever he has planned for me. In fact, I wouldn’t mind if I could just skip all of the fun stuff I just thoroughly explained for everyone in excruciating detail and have my husband-to-be approach me and go ahead and propose. That would probably make life a lot simpler. But it would probably take away all the fun memories that yall would get to experience in all that fun time that the world has tricked us into calling fun=dating. But im sure that it all plays out much differently when you’re dating the person you’re supposed to marry. At least that is my hope. But obviously I won’t be able to blog on that for quite some time now.
Ready-GO!
I’ve decided I strongly dislike dating in high school. In fact, I wish I would have known my freshman year or better yet my 6th grade year, that by the time I would become a senior I would have wished them all away. Okay, so that’s a little harsh. I do have some good memories. And I have learned and matured through many of the relationships. But who knew adults and the older, wiser people were right when they said “it’s not worth the stress, just wait until after high school.” Oh how naïve we are. And what’s funny is we think we are so smart when it comes to dating, like we are the first ones to experiment with it or something. Geez.
Now let’s press pause real fast so I can leave a disclaimer: I am not here to bash any high school relationships that are still going strong or any relationships that have or will turn into life long, lovely marriages. All these views in which I will express will be coming from personal views and experiences.
Anyways, I have decided that for the remainder of my high school career (which I realize is not much to say) I am going to toss dating out the window. I’m not sure if I even would want to pursue a relationship freshman year of college. But I am not making any promises here. I feel as though in high school you’re looking for someone to just accept you and love you for who you are. But when it all boils down, they probably not loving the real you (please remember the disclaimer here). It is so easy to get caught up in the excitement of dating and everything that comes along with it, that it becomes so easy to just change everything you have promised yourself you would never change. I’m pretty sure that every single person that has ever been in a relationship has previously stated this statement: “I will never change myself at all for any guy/girl.” I can pretty much guarantee that one. But in reality, we all know that humanly speaking this is basically impossible. Especially in young relationships. When it starts your all excited because the guy you’ve had a crush on finally notices you, so all those days spent day dreaming about what it would be like if he liked you finally start to come true. So what’s the first thing you do? Well that’s a no brainer- you go and in some form of a stalking manner find out every last detail about his life (that is attainable from some other means than him telling you) and every thing he is interested in. This way you are fully prepared to always be in the state to hold a conversation and catch his interest with all of yalls “shared” interests. Now, I don’t know what mood I have just produced in starting this, but I would like to say it has become a very sarcastic one so I am, for those who can not tell, exaggerating small things for effect of what im trying to get across. Don’t leave this blog thinking im a lunatic.
So, now with all your new found knowledge about the guy that started as just a little crush occupying your day dreams, you are now faced with the lovely task of making sure you always look presentable. And we are not just talking add 5 extra minutes to your normal routine here. I’m talking the stress over what you’re going to wear for a solid 20 minutes, before even beginning to try anything on. And along with that task you always get the privilege of coming up with dumb excuses to make a trip to the bathroom every so often to make sure you don’t have your shirt on inside out, or broccoli stuck between your teeth or a friend hanging out of your nose that no one has bothered to tell you about all day. And to think we have a holiday dedicated to recognizing your significant other (which happens to be around the corner, convenient this was on my mind?). Then by the end of the day after all that stress you get the honor of looking back on that day and picking apart every single encounter you had with this said “special” person and making sure you said or did the right thing. And who knows how long this process can sometimes take. After all the beginning stages of dating occur then you get to the big climax of it all: Making it official. That’s when you go home, log into facebook, change your “relationship status” get all the lovely comments from all your friends who, by the way, all already knew it was about to happen, it’s just something about commenting on the new relationship status on facebook that makes it so much better than in person. So now that yall have become facebook official, had the pre-stress of impressing the other, and won each others heart, you come to stand still in the road. Pretty much, a spot where you go “okay, now what?” But this doesn’t last long. Then, not only do you have to maintain the personal appearance stress, but now you have to make sure that you are aware of everything you say or do to make sure it is not taken the wrong way by your new significant other or better yet; bystanders who love to meddle in other peoples relationships. This is when the real fun begins. Or I’d say more of a relationship test. It’s around the time the little arguments start or you start realizing that really, you both don’t have anything in common at all. This is also when you begin to pick up little things he or she does that get on your nerves to no end. OR what’s far worse are things that you used to think were so cute and now make you want to barf you’re so sick of them.
Also around this time you realize you’re not the only one with the stalking skills and that your once “perfect for each other” significant other has also memorized everything you love to do. So, now you realize that neither of you like the same things, little things all the way down to there breathing habits are beginning to annoy you, you’ve consumed the past(how ever long this has continued) time obsessing over them and now you get to stress over how your going to end it all. Which, I could write on for days. But for the sake of how much I have already rambled I will condense it. You now get to go through the following: do I make it my fault so it looks like im the one at fault here, when really it’s not me at all, but that way they won’t be as upset? Do you just lay it on them that yall no longer share anything in common, including the liking each other part? Or do you try scheme up ways to make them break up with you first, so you can then play the devastated role when inside your swiping your head with a sigh of relief? So many options. So many roads you could travel. When in the beginning, had you of listened to all the people who said “just wait until you’re older” you wouldn’t even be in this mess in the first place. And now you’re stuck with one broken heart, a portion of your life that you can never get back, a lot of new memories (some good and some bad), a lot of learned lessons and a WHOLE LOT of gray hairs that are waiting to greet you one lovely morning.
I hope this isn’t making me out to sound like im ditching the prospects of ever dating again. I just think that for the time being I am completely content with just focusing on God and whatever he has planned for me. In fact, I wouldn’t mind if I could just skip all of the fun stuff I just thoroughly explained for everyone in excruciating detail and have my husband-to-be approach me and go ahead and propose. That would probably make life a lot simpler. But it would probably take away all the fun memories that yall would get to experience in all that fun time that the world has tricked us into calling fun=dating. But im sure that it all plays out much differently when you’re dating the person you’re supposed to marry. At least that is my hope. But obviously I won’t be able to blog on that for quite some time now.
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On a side note, i saw a GREAT movie the other night that goes along with this post very well: "He's just not that into you." It is halarious and i loved it. You should go see it. It was well worth $7.50.
Proverbs 31:30
Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
4 comments:
good writing! don't apologize - it made sense to me..
thanks travis :] im glad someone gets what im saying
Ur writting still blows my mind. I was thinking that its not just for guys/girls with the whole "choosing what to wear thing". Its events too. Like for my sisters 8th grade graduation, we went through this whole debate about the shoes she should wear. The whole family said she should wear these flat slipper/sandal type things because 5 inch heels were not appropriate for a 14 year old. but she was determined to wear a pair of 5 inch heels. So when she was walking down the stairs in hoke auditorium, she tripped and fell.
I guess what im getting at is that we do things to look "better" but everyone can tell that your trying to do something different. It's all obviously to gain approval when trying to be noticed.
I defintely agree. It's amazing how unimportant it all is, yet rather funny to see how serious people take it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I like your conversational writing.
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