“Take my life and let it be all for You and for Your Glory take my life and
let it be Yours.”
It’s so easy to live that out when you’re in a camp setting. When people to your right and left are all working together towards the same goal. But then you’re thrown back into the real world; where you don’t find many who are trying to reach your same goal. And to live out the meaning of that line comes into a whole new perspective. It’s one of those things that should be expected but when you sit back and realize it’s happening right in front of your eyes, it completely catches you off guard.
Last week was Go Camp. Midtown puts it on each summer; and for the past two years it’s rocked my face off. It’s all about GOING and serving. It’s not supposed to just be a week of service; once you leave that camp setting, it’s up to you to plan the service projects and get a group of kids together who are willing to sacrifice their time to serve- you slowly realize it’s not as easy as it sounds. But this actually isn’t the reason I decided to dust off the cobwebs to my blog. There are a few things on my mind that are causing me to loose sleep.
Two characteristics were talked about at camp. First there was the performance person who is obsessed with appearance (‘As long as everyone thinks I’m okay, I am.’). Failure for these people is devastating. They do what they have to (out of duty) so that everyone is happy. They don’t like jacked up people, as though sin could be contagious and their identity is found in being the best. Then there are the grace people: they walk in the light, their very vulnerable, their open to help and they expect failure from themselves because they know they’re jacked up. They are joy-driven and their identity is found in Christ. And they love broken people because they know they’re broken too.
If you’re like me you compared yourself to the grace person and realized the only thing that may match up is expecting failure because you realize how much you suck.
But the hard part is when you turn and start to point fingers at others and classify them. Even if you’ve gotten to a point where you match up as a grace person and you turn to point the blame or become prideful in the fact that “you’re at least better than them” you’re slapped right back into square one. Or what could be worse is if you ever achieve the grace qualifications and you realize it. Even if you boast to yourself about the fact that you finally achieved it you’ve just failed again. But maybe since you’re a grace person you already saw that coming? It’s a redundant cycle that obviously continues because we’re human; but it is frustrating none the less.
It’s also hard when you realize you may be surrounded by performance people who aren’t looking at becoming a grace person anytime soon. I’ve realized God puts people in you’re life at certain times for his own reasons… but he also takes them away for his own reasons. And His reasons, from a human perspective are not understandable. It can be so frustrating, confusing and upsetting. But what’s crazy is when you begin to see the difference of Him putting someone new or taking someone out can have on you.
Another thing I’ve also been struggling with is forgiveness. I may have already written a blog on this? I can’t remember. This has been my recent struggle though; the fact that I don’t deserve forgiveness. Not an inkling in my body deserves grace-yet God killed his son for me. So in response, along with giving Him everything; I need to forgive just as He forgave me. That is SO much easier said than done. It’s so easy when we’re wronged as a selfish human to turn and go “how dare them! I deserve better than that” When in reality, we deserve hell in a hand basket. I’ve been struggling with this big time. It’s hard when someone has done something that is clearly wrong, no matter what view you’re looking at it from. Or when they just don’t treat you right, period; and haven’t done anything to deserve it. What’s hard is when they don’t know that you know. And you have to forgive and love them and treat them the same all behind their back. As I was thinking through all this I was really on the verge of giving up and just taking the “they wronged me I don’t have to love them” attitude- God hit me in the face with this. No where through Jesus’ time on earth was it always easy for him, not everyone was always happy with him and through it all-even as he was being beaten- he loved throughout all of it. Even Paul, who besides Jesus was probably one of the greatest missionaries in the world, turned to God and still sent his love as he was in prison!
Then he brought back to mind this passage:
Last week was Go Camp. Midtown puts it on each summer; and for the past two years it’s rocked my face off. It’s all about GOING and serving. It’s not supposed to just be a week of service; once you leave that camp setting, it’s up to you to plan the service projects and get a group of kids together who are willing to sacrifice their time to serve- you slowly realize it’s not as easy as it sounds. But this actually isn’t the reason I decided to dust off the cobwebs to my blog. There are a few things on my mind that are causing me to loose sleep.
Two characteristics were talked about at camp. First there was the performance person who is obsessed with appearance (‘As long as everyone thinks I’m okay, I am.’). Failure for these people is devastating. They do what they have to (out of duty) so that everyone is happy. They don’t like jacked up people, as though sin could be contagious and their identity is found in being the best. Then there are the grace people: they walk in the light, their very vulnerable, their open to help and they expect failure from themselves because they know they’re jacked up. They are joy-driven and their identity is found in Christ. And they love broken people because they know they’re broken too.
If you’re like me you compared yourself to the grace person and realized the only thing that may match up is expecting failure because you realize how much you suck.
But the hard part is when you turn and start to point fingers at others and classify them. Even if you’ve gotten to a point where you match up as a grace person and you turn to point the blame or become prideful in the fact that “you’re at least better than them” you’re slapped right back into square one. Or what could be worse is if you ever achieve the grace qualifications and you realize it. Even if you boast to yourself about the fact that you finally achieved it you’ve just failed again. But maybe since you’re a grace person you already saw that coming? It’s a redundant cycle that obviously continues because we’re human; but it is frustrating none the less.
It’s also hard when you realize you may be surrounded by performance people who aren’t looking at becoming a grace person anytime soon. I’ve realized God puts people in you’re life at certain times for his own reasons… but he also takes them away for his own reasons. And His reasons, from a human perspective are not understandable. It can be so frustrating, confusing and upsetting. But what’s crazy is when you begin to see the difference of Him putting someone new or taking someone out can have on you.
Another thing I’ve also been struggling with is forgiveness. I may have already written a blog on this? I can’t remember. This has been my recent struggle though; the fact that I don’t deserve forgiveness. Not an inkling in my body deserves grace-yet God killed his son for me. So in response, along with giving Him everything; I need to forgive just as He forgave me. That is SO much easier said than done. It’s so easy when we’re wronged as a selfish human to turn and go “how dare them! I deserve better than that” When in reality, we deserve hell in a hand basket. I’ve been struggling with this big time. It’s hard when someone has done something that is clearly wrong, no matter what view you’re looking at it from. Or when they just don’t treat you right, period; and haven’t done anything to deserve it. What’s hard is when they don’t know that you know. And you have to forgive and love them and treat them the same all behind their back. As I was thinking through all this I was really on the verge of giving up and just taking the “they wronged me I don’t have to love them” attitude- God hit me in the face with this. No where through Jesus’ time on earth was it always easy for him, not everyone was always happy with him and through it all-even as he was being beaten- he loved throughout all of it. Even Paul, who besides Jesus was probably one of the greatest missionaries in the world, turned to God and still sent his love as he was in prison!
Then he brought back to mind this passage:
“Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge I will pay them back.” Says the Lord. Instead “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.” Romans 12:19-21
Hardcore, right? I know. I was completely humbled when I read that. So I handed it all over toGod at that point. I know that in no way will I be able to love this person like I’ve been loved, or forgive them like I’ve been forgiven. But ONLY God through me will be able to achieve this. And what a weight it lifted off my shoulders. "Hope which was lost, now stands renewed. I give my life to honor this..."
“My Grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”
2 Corinthians 12:9
1 comment:
Hey this is Stephen from Go Camp. I promise I'm not awkward-blog-stalking, I just saw your blog on FB and thought I'd say hi.
Anyway the Performance vs. Grace people was really good, and I think kinda changed the way I think about it. Cool.
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